Quiet – The ability to stand out without speaking out

In a world that is forever in awe of the ‘Extrovert Ideal’; a world that sees the ability to speak out as a virtue, and the capacity to remain quiet a weakness, it’s not too difficult for the introverts of the world to be ignored, unheard, misunderstood, and even doubted. Doubted for their abilities, their strengths and their value. Not just by others around them, but at some point, even by themselves. To the extent that they start wishing they were more outspoken like their extroverted friends. Something a lifelong Introvert like myself can attest to.

Then again, where would the world be without its extroverts? A world robbed of personalities like Steve Wozniak, Bill Gates, Emma Watson, J.K. Rowling, Albert Einstein, and even Mahatma Gandhi and Rosa Parks. Personalities who have and continue to leave their mark on the world in a way very few can. Personalities who stood out, not despite their introverted nature, but because of it. So it should come as no surprise that a book titled ‘Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a world that can’t stop talking’ becomes an instantly intriguing and fascinating read for someone in my shoes.

Quiet – Not an ‘Introvert v/s Extrovert’ debate

While its title may suggest a book that attempts to reveal the powers of introversion or spark a debate between introverts and extroverts, ‘Quiet’ is quite far from it. Rather, it is a book about personalities. Where Susan Cain, an introvert herself, talks about facets that make up the two different personality types in discussion – introverts and extroverts, focussing on how the characteristics that make up an introverted persona can be very their platform to success.

“Speak up!!!”

Two words every introvert has repeatedly heard over his lifetime. Perhaps because an introvert’s preference to stay under the radar is easily misunderstood as his inability. Perhaps, because an introvert is seen as someone who may accomplish much if he remains quiet. Or perhaps it’s because an introvert is often considered to be shy or scared.
After all, we easily associate the ability to speak with intelligence, the ability to address a group with leadership, and strong expression of opinions with passion. Essentially associating qualities that primarily describe an extrovert with ‘success’. Inherent qualities that those of us who identify as introverts have at some point in our lives yearned for.

But that also raises a question.

Is an individual’s introversion down to the individual self, or is there more to the Introvert story than meets the eye? The answer unsurprisingly lies somewhere in between.

Everyone shines, given the right lighting.

– Susan Cain

Biology, Society, History, Culture. And Introversion.

Through a series of stories, Quiet explores how a child’s biological make-up, his inherent ability to ‘react’ to the social events he is exposed to, and the cultural environment he grows up in (at a micro as well as a macro level), all go on to define an individual’s personality as an adult. Summarising a series of tests that observed the reactive temperament of kids in their formative years, followed by a study of how these kids grew up in different cultures and social situations, Susan Cain details out the different aspects that build the personalities of introverts, and for that matter, extroverts. All supported by insights from researchers and psychologists across the world, combined with her own experiences and interactions with individuals over the years. But she doesn’t stop at that. Going on to explain just why the world needs introverts just as much as it needs its extroverts. With examples of how introverts have throughout history played significant roles in shaping the course of world events. And how these seemingly reserved individuals can affect massive changes around them, even in a world that cannot stop talking. All because of their introverted personalities.

Key takeaways from Susan Cain’s Quiet

1. We live in a world that loves extroverts

It’s no secret that we live in an extrovert-centric society. From schools and workplaces that expect group collaboration, to families, who want their children to be more outgoing, we live in a world that aspires to the ‘Extrovert Ideal’. After all, the successful personalities we see, all seem to be extroverts. Even in fictitious depictions. For instance, every time we celebrate the outgoing ‘James Bond’ more than the reserved ‘Q’, we endorse the extrovert as an ideal.

2. Introversion isn’t something to be ‘fixed’

One of the biggest takeaways from this book. Contrary to popular belief, introversion is not something to be ‘fixed’. Introverts can be just as good as extroverts at what they do. Especially when their choices and social behaviours are respected. That is when they, like any other individual, tend to thrive. Just ask yourself, if an individual tends to do better work in solitude, isn’t that better than getting substandard work as part of a group?

3. The shift from ‘Culture of Character’ to ‘Culture of Personality’

The real shift towards seeing the extrovert as ‘the ideal’ started with the rise of businesses and corporations. As individuals started moving to cities in search of jobs, they were expected to be more outspoken to crack interviews, present ideas and make sales calls. This is when historians believe we moved from a ‘culture of character’, where you were applauded for your morals and beliefs, to a ‘culture of personality’, that drew admiration for your charm, and the ability to speak and socialise.

4. Understanding introverts and their strengths

Understanding the importance of introverts begins with understanding their personalities and their choices. Unlike extroverts, in most cases introverts instinctively tend to take a step back when faced with something new. This however isn’t a sign of disrespect, lack of interest or even fear. It is just how an introvert reacts to any new stimulus. And they need their space and freedom to express themselves in a manner that they find comfort with. For instance, while extroverts may be comfortable about speaking on a subject on-the-go, an introvert would prefer to weigh his or her ideas and better express them by writing.

5. Extroverts v/s Introverts

While the outward differences between an extrovert and introvert may be obvious and apparent, there’s a lot more that distinguishes these personality styles.

• Goal-orientation and Reward-sensitivity
  While extroverts are more excited about rewards on achieving goals, introverts attach less importance to rewards and are more excited about the process of solving a problem.
• Inclination towards risks
  Extroverts tend to take more risks, while introverts are more calculated when it comes to risks.
• Tasks
  Introverts are more comfortable working at individual tasks with a single-minded focus, but extroverts tend to be better at multi-tasking.
• Friendships
  Perhaps the least surprising difference. Extroverts tend to maintain many friendships, even if some are superficial. Introverts however tend to have fewer but deeper friendships.
• Conversations
  Extroverts are extremely comfortable with small talk. But there’s very few things that an introvert dislikes more, preferring deep meaningful conversations.

6. Introversion and Leadership

It’s easy to think of leadership as an ‘exclusively Extrovert trait’. Susan Cain claims otherwise. While extroverts can be good at leading a group of passive people, introverts can be better leaders of proactive individuals. Because of their patience and capacity to listen to others, backed by their comfort in staying away from the spotlight, they can get the best out of a group of initiative-taking individuals. And the fact that they prefer to lead by acting and not talking certainly helps.

7. The Power of Introverts + Extroverts

This isn’t an ‘Introverts v/s Extroverts’ book. But a book about two personality types. More importantly, it shows how these two personalities can push and bring out the best in each other. Just like the world needs the charisma and voice of its extroverts, it needs the calm and persistence of its introverts. Throughout history, some of the world’s greatest achievements would remain unrealised without its introverts working in the shadows. Apple Computers for instance, would not be what it is today if it did not have both, the extroverted charisma of Steve Jobs combined with the introverted temperament of Steve Wozniak.

8. Speak up. When you need to.

Finally, a word of advice to the introverts of the world from Susan Cain, a lifelong introvert herself. Introverts can be capable of acting like extroverts, when they need to. ‘Free Trait theory’ suggests that individuals though born with certain personality traits, like introversion, can and will act in a manner quite contrasting to their personality. That does not mean you should mimic an extrovert and change the way you live your life. But that even as an introvert, you can make yourself heard and make a massive difference. Especially in matters that you consider important. Just like Rosa Parks did, by uttering one word when it mattered, “No.”

Being an introvert isn’t easy. It’s so much more than what even an introvert like myself could have imagined. And that is one of the many aspects that make ‘Quiet’ special and unlike most other books. It allows you, as an introvert to look at yourself in a new light, answering questions you may have had about yourself. It makes you understand why individuals behave the way you do. And it makes you understand how you make a difference, while being true to your personality. Which is why I would wholeheartedly, unreservedly recommend not just to introverts like myself. But also extroverts. So they can better understand the introverts, communicate with them, and realise how their seemingly shy friends can influence them more than they may have believed.